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My experience with albuterex is a lesson to be learnt. If there’s one piece of advice I could give you all as a former addict (8 days clean), it’s that the recommended dosage should never be exceeded. Not only did Erowid fail to tell me about the dangers of street-grade albuterex, but it also forgot to mention how notoriously high the purity of the online version was. After ordering my first “legal” tub from nutri-sups, the first mistake I made was taking a full scoop before working out that day - little did I know how this single scoop would change my life.
Despite all the warning labels, I thought I could handle albuterex after all the speed and meth I used to snort on school days. If I could compare it to any other reckless street drug, I’d say it’s kind of like a combination of injecting jack3d after shelving cocaine. The rush is so intense that my entire body begins to pump like I’ve completed a standard warmup set of romanian deadlifts (35 reps x 250kg). I still remember that first scoop - I could barely walk because my glutes were so pumped up full of blood that I couldn’t bring my legs back from full extension for 48 hours, so I just worked my upper body that day. I couldn’t use the toilet and I didn’t **** for days because I knew it’d just get stuck between my muscles until the whole pump wore off. Thank god for the appetite suppressing effects because without albuterex collapsing my esophagus for 24 hours, I would’ve been ****ed over by having to use the toilet.
Another dangerous benefit worth noting is the pump albuterex gave me in my favourite muscle, the Penius Maximus. The immediate rush of blood was so intense that my penis grew to 15.5 inches flaccid (couldn’t get the erect length because I didn’t have enough rulers at home to measure). No wonder albuterex is climbing to number 1 on the world’s most notorious sport doping drugs, especially with its recent abuse in the olympics pretty much providing runners and swimmers with a 3rd leg!... I am now a former addict and proud to be helping other locals in my town kick the habit by holding “AA” meetings, or “Albuterexes Anonymous”... they may as well have called it “Albute-wrecks-you”, because that’s all my life is now, a bubbling mess of purple powder. I’ve had to paint the entire inside of my house white again because when I was on albuterex, I’d actually rub the raw powder into the walls of my house. Please don’t think I’m crazy, but it’s because I needed to be constantly reminded about taking a scoop or 2 just in case I ever started to come down at home instead of the gym. After the ecstasy like plateau of albuterex, you come down and start getting very agitated, developing serious roid/rex rage. One time I forgot to re-dose and I ended up doing lunges down the hallway with the kitchen fridge upon my shoulders before making my way to the garage where I did 25 pyramid sets of bench presses with the fridge and placing every old dumbbell I had inside the fridge to add more weight and get those last few reps in. Thank god I finally kicked the habit because I always had nightmares about deadlifting my neighbours car - it’s impossible to distinguish between dreams and reality if you’ve taken half a scoop or more.
My doctor helped me too, and before I stopped, he described that breaking the addiction to such a hard drug was going to be harder than trying to quit smoking, stop masturbating, and turn straight from being gay, all at the same time! They took a blood sample on my first consultation and found 30% of my blood had been replaced by human growth hormone with the remaining 69% albuterex crystals, and 1% red blood cells. No white blood cells were found because albuterex replaces your body’s immune system and stops disease.
I’m finally off albuterex, but I still occasionally receive mail from the military asking me if I’d like to participate in some experiments about fighting the war in afghanistan on my own. Please be careful and use the correct scoop, brahs.
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