Silkroad Online Forums

at least it made an interesting story


OT:
people who drive 5-10 mph slower than allowed
and people don't take a right at the traffic lights when there is a green arrow sign..
also, rudimentary organs, appendix and hair most of all

Rediculously sensitive girls that will start bawling over nothing.

Girl: "OHHH EMMM GEEEEEE NOOOOOOOOOOOOO *CRIES SCREAMS*"
Me: "What the ****? is your cat dead and mangled or your massive mane of pubic hair on fire?"
Girl: *Still bawling, by this point going into hysterics* "NO OMG, my friend susie is NOT responding to my texts. WWHAT THE HELL"
Me: .... .... Oh..

You know, if it's really cold and you don't wanna remove your glove then wipe your ass. Kinda like when on a really cold day you secretly wish the toilet seat is warm.

hyuk hyuk hyuk

scrub your damn fingers you pig.

you are wrong mens
trance is like the best thing you can listen while high

Drivers who don't signal when turning right.

Me: "Alright, after this car passes, I'm gonna turn right. Wait for it, wait for it.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

God that makes me rage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Except one time I was pulling out of walmart and a car DID signal and slow down, I proceeded to pull out and turn left.. they were not pulling in walmart, instead the carwash entrance down past walmart entrance another 15ft. They slammed on brakes and I nearly got tboned. Coolstorybro.jpg)

Most of the things I hate have already been mentioned; chewing with mouth open, people walking too slow, etc

- Wasp ; They don't even make honey and I don't think its the primary source of food for any animal.

liberal kids
people who do drugs/think drugs is cool
gangsters/people who try to be gangster
people who do stupid things to try to be funny
people who always swear
weeaboos

It still won't go away ;(

Actaully...its VERY necessary. . .

Read below: (no I didnt write this...)

Don't Shave That Hair!!!
I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!

lmfao!! that was the funniest thing I've read all month.
LMFAO /Thread

That was one of the funniest things I've read lol, but thats not the point I was making cause I'd never shave it. I cant imagine how itchy it would be when it grows back, not to mention it would grow back with double intensity each time. But just the fact that its merely there to catch fecal matter it seems more like a nuesance than anything else.

Well I guess you could trim it, but just don't go balls to the walls (literally) and shave it all off lol .
I guess it would be the same if you shave your pubes off, Ive wanted to but never had the balls(oh im so punny) to go through with it I don't know what would happen but if ass hair is that important I suppose pubic hair (for guys) is important too.

pubes(front) are for multiplying the effect/smell of pheromones

but ass hair?
collecting fluff has to be the most important function

I hate the word "persons".

it just sounds so dumb especially when someone can't kick off a decent English/american/Australian/anything english related accent and it sounds too flat Twenglish.(Dutch-English)

I haven't heard that word ever untill a few months ago, and since I heard it the first time I was like: It's one Person two People.

Oh and Busdrivers with a 'tude. I mean like, wtf? first you don't have a proper education and then you're going all arrogant on ME???
Srsly. Education first, attitude later.

EDIT:
Body Hair.
ANY hair below my face is so annoying. I HATE BODY HAIR.
It's ugly, it feels bad and being hairless really makes me feel hotter ×>9000.
If I wasn't such a big pussy I'd get a Brazillian every fuckin' month.

so is that a good thing or a bad thing? lol



what?

Same goes for guys!!! It's nasty!!

Some thing I find stupid about the English language,and I still do those errors ;

- I never say "I caught the ball", I always say "I catched the ball". Needless to say everyone notices it and corrects me and go "Ohh frenhies "
- I never say "homework" when I have lots of them,I always pronounce it "homeworkS"

All I can think of atm

Fat people...
I hate hearing them breathe.............

whores.....*pulls out a pistol, loads it, looks down the sight, squeezes the trigger, runs"

Thats like my friend He hates whores with a passion. He always talk about how he's gonna shoot down a couple someday. Last time he played GTA4 with me it wasn't pretty.

I don't know, usually when someone says that he hates whores or calls a girl a bitch its because she have sex with lots of dudes EXCEPT him.

cause I BET you that any guy that hates whore wouldn't turn down a whore if she walked up to him and wanted to get down and dirty, brought some condoms and lube with her and took a shower + bubble bath before hand.

This has been scientifically proven. A few years back I was working at an ice cream shop not to be named for fear of embarrassment and the boss that owned the place was super cool and rich as hell, anyway one of the guys I was working with was like that and kept saying shit like that about whores this whores that,

So one day our boss pretty much bought a hooker for this dude and told the hooker to tell him everything about what happened in writing, including his *size* how long he lasted and other embarrassing stuff. The bos was going to make a bet with us but no one said that he would reject the woman so he told us (with the guy not present) that if he didn't fk the chick, he would give the guy ALL the tips for a month) and if he did he would give it to us instead for two months. . .

1) I was richer for two months
2) The stories that hooker told about him in bed....yeah fking hilarious
3) the boss had a meeting with all of us including the guy, and started reading what the hooker wrote about what happened. . .

*He started Crying*

We didn't feel sorry for him and laughed in his face basically...

He never talked to us again hahah.

those were the days...

Edit: I love whores. . .in all actuality those women are the SAFEST of the bunch std wise those women KNOW what they are doing and are prepared, and wont mess around with a dude that isn't prepared *you know with condoms and such) its the REGULAR girls you got to watch out for, see, they get all afraid about having sex or whatever because women will think they are whores (they don't give a sht what men think, unless she is attractive to him) so they hold all that sexual energy in then they either go to a party or a club with their friends, get a couple of drinks and BAM when their friends backs are turned *things just happen* and she does the deed with a dude without a condom

*oops*

THEN she will just think to herself *oh that guy didn't count*

This is a secret that women wont tell you about, and if you ask or if its brought up, they'll just deny it anyway (and for good reason too! shieet I don't blame em for that!) and most guys will agree with her since they aren't experienced enough to REALLY know whats up. Its something that you either just know or you don't. I would say its believing it but its more than that, you actually have to been *that guy that didn't count* to understand what Im saying.

Which probably means if you *hate* whores(which would be basically EVERY woman that has ever lived), and want to shoot them in the street, you probably wouldn't really get it. . .ever.

I knew one guy who used to work in a club and all the time he d always say *the girls in the club are sluts sluts sluts* then a month later he was all like *hey guys, I got this 40 year old sugar momma she gives me gifts and sht and took me to taiwan here let me show you our sex pics (while me and other housemates were eating breakfast. . .meaning we did NOT want to see his small package in a 40 year old) anyway few weeks go by and he mentions that chick again and I notice a ring on his finger. . .and hes all like *oh Im married, Ive been married for like 6 years*




Remember Im living in Tokyo and this guy is Canadian with his wife living BACK in Canada. . .yeah *sluts sluts sluts*

I stopped taking him seriously after that.

i read the first line... i dont hate whores for what they dont give me i hate them for what they gave me

Depends on wether you can bear another bodily stench,
but Ph's should help us get together by sniffing our partner's mating compatibility.
But with all the deo's, smell enhancers for food, drinks etc. scientists say that phero's were to be most successful if a woman smelled a man masturbating in a sauna lol
(can't remember the actual example but it was along those sweat lines)

douche hipster kids with tight pants and drink coffee when its 85 degrees out

Hey slim fits are hawt But coffee is

I hate kids that put on a Red Bandana and think they are part of a gang now.. but then run like a bitch and yell back at you when they are a safe distance away

Women.

ROFL @ BANANAMAN'S STORY!
Hahahaha, I'm still laughing at it minutes later! Brillaint I say, fucking brilliant!

But on topic, I hate men who oppress women. I also hate women who use their sexual powers to seduce men. So basically, I hate nearly everyone.