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BECAUSE I'M A MAN

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AA is not an option. I will win.

Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.....though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator..... ( applies to engineers mainly).

Because I'm a man , there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't...and if you are feeling amorous afterwards....then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest...... Like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.


So funny and so true!!!

Are you a lesbian Feminist? jk

These are pretty fuunny. I LOLd

some of them are funny ^^

although this really doesnt apply to all guys

It so far applys to all guys that I know

hater!

well then you havn't met the humble, cooking, helping guys of falun in sweden

Must be just Brit's then...

I never think about sports or cars

Only say ------ LMAO

True xD

Im a man!!!
and you ppl are galls

lesbian.....

Sorry, I love men to much to be a lesbian

Because I'm a man, i think every girl is a lesbian and girls go to the
bathroom together to look at eachothers breasts.

Because i'm a man, i make belive the baby isn't crying and wait for you to take care of him.

not met me then

Meh, your just jealous

Too true XD

and red bull

You made me lol

Hahaha... random but true

I'm not that kind of man <_<

sheman then?

lol

Just look? Jeez, my school's much more fun.

WOW i wana go to your school

I thought the last one was funny.

The others were pretty good too, but the last one's the best

Keep these coming by the way, they're funny.

Wtf
You were scared about the time you lost the remote and was gonna miss favorite show but had the calculator in your hand [applies for some engineers]




?? You mean you can make a remote out of a calculator