SRF chronicles chapter 4 posts.

cin · **Posted:** Sun Jan 06, 2008 4:14 pm

bring it on!

Doron · **Posted:** Sun Jan 06, 2008 4:22 pm

Awww.. Barotix won??

Congraz man!

Well, I'm too lazy to make a new one, so...

But I will come by once a while to read the new stories and say what zI think of them, yet I think there aren't gonna be that much....

Good Luck, Angels!

torinchibi · **Joined:** Sep 2007 **Posts:** 1357 **Location:**

Well, Gratz to Barotix for winning this round. I will probably write a chapter later on. Don't feel like it right now.

Barotix · **Joined:** Jul 2007 **Posts:** 9250 **Location:** Sand

cool i won; currently waiting for chapter 5 to start [ i think I'll participate in every other story ]

waiting for chapter 4 entries

snigglez · **Joined:** Jul 2007 **Posts:** 211 **Location:**

lawl.. not gonna do a story for this chapter.. i dun lik his story =p

torinchibi · **Joined:** Sep 2007 **Posts:** 1357 **Location:**

Sourpusses! Don't like his story? Jack it! ...I will have to jack his story with a good old meanwhile...or something a little more elaborate.

snigglez · **Joined:** Jul 2007 **Posts:** 211 **Location:**

well it is just edited.. i rather read something more orginal than something edited a few times.

too bad not many people actualy write =/

Doron · **Posted:** Tue Jan 08, 2008 11:44 am

It is a shame that you only see a few people who post in here...

mostly it's just Barotix, Snigglez, cin, Torinchibi, sometime Trice pops by and me...

Not a very good publicity of this contest...

Personally I think everybody can write a story, you just need some practice...

And you know, actually this story is kinda good so far...

Maybe I will compete, just to keep the fun... cuz there aren't any new people comming in here...

So I'll write a story when I feel like it, and see if I'll manage to reach the deadline. Or else it'll be a good chapter 5, maybe?

torinchibi · **Joined:** Sep 2007 **Posts:** 1357 **Location:**

Here it is. Enjoy.

PS. I could not include everything I wanted into this, but you might get an idea of what I was trying to do here...and that's show everyone that your story doesn't have to end when your chapter doesn't get picked. An army has more than one general....and surely it can have more than 3.

------------------------------------------------------

The Heroes Gather

Broken by Wreight’s death and now obsessed with revenge, the kid continued along the road, following a caravan that had just passed the bloody sight and dismissed it as yet another casualty of the Silk Road. Dragging his bloody feet, the kid was even slower than the camels in front of him, and they were soon out of sight, leaving him alone yet again. As he walked along the path, he asked himself for the first time in his life, what his purpose in existing was. He could not save his father. Neither could he save his friend. What exactly can he do? He suddenly realized the situation he was in. With the king dead, he was the rightful hair to the throne. He was the King of Hotan and as such, he should take on his father’s responsibilities…stopping Lord Yarkan from releasing the plague of Roc upon his people!
With a new mission on his hands, the kid picked up his pace and headed towards Hotan City, where a tournament with the purpose of selecting Heroes to lead the soldiers was to be held within a weak, as scheduled by his father before his death. Time was of the essence, and although the death of his closest friend had caused him great pain, he could not abandon his people and hide like a coward.
Suddenly, in the middle of his thoughts, the kid was covered by a shadow. He looked up and strained his eyes attempting to see what had covered the sun, and there he was, a large figure was running towards the top of a hill. Seconds later, 5 other figures appeared. At first, the kid thought it was thieves, preparing for an ambush, but the first figure quickly turned around and lifted a sword as long as it was into the sky. The 5 shadows all lunged towards the first one, and the kid realized he was observing a battle. It looked like a warrior was in trouble. The kid quickly pulled out his claw-like daggers and sprinted towards the warrior, then suddenly stopped. The warrior now stood alone. In the second the kid was distracted while pulling out his weapons, the warrior had killed all 5 of the other figures, and now stood on top of a pile of bloody corpses.
“That was amazing!”, the kid exclaimed.
“No, I am still too slow,” replied the warrior while turning around towards the kid.
“Too slow? I barely blinked and you already killed 5 of them!”
“My teacher could kill ten in half the time. I have much to learn.”
The kid was surprised to hear of such a great warrior. “Then he should join the tournament, he will surely become a general!”
“My master is dead,” the warrior answered.
“Dead? How could such a great warrior die?”
“When he heard about Yarkan’s doings, he immediately went to one of the aircraft docs. I watched him fight with 20 of Yarkan’s minions, and he would have killed them all if Yarkan didn’t sneak up behind him and strike him in the middle of the battle.”
“So you have also lost companions because of Yarkan’s actions. Then you must be headed to Hotan City for the tournament? What is your name?”, the kid asked with respect.
“My teacher named me Neon. He said I was part of a new generation that will surely become stronger than he ever could. At the time, I thought it was impossible, but it is now my goal to surpass my master and finish what he started.”, the young warrior answered.
“Then let us hurry, we must get to Hotan as soon as possible, for I too wish to lead the battle against Yarkan,” the kid said with passion.
Neon did not even ask for the kid’s name, he silently began walking with a fast pace towards their common destination. The kid was glad he had not needed to mention his name. For now, he wanted to keep his identity secret, and prove himself to his people through the tournament. As the two walked, they gradually reached Karakoram. The sun was already down and a snow storm was visible in the horizon, so the two decided to lodge in what looked like an abandoned shack. Upon entering through the door, they saw a young man lying face down in front of them. He was gripping a large spear in his right hand and a half empty jug of healing potion was spilled near his left. The two checked if he was alive, and upon asserting he was in good health, they moved him to the bed. Without asking each other for opinions on the young man’s situation, they both took a corner of the room, put down their weapons beside them and fell asleep from exhaustion. Neither of them even considered the fact that an unknown stranger was laying on the bed beside them. Perhaps they were both confident they could defeat him…or maybe neither of them though he was a threat, for his spear was dented on several places, but he had not even a drop of blood on his clothes.
“The undead do not bleed,” they both thought silently to themselves as they fell into uncosciousness.

Barotix · **Joined:** Jul 2007 **Posts:** 9250 **Location:** Sand

mysterious, and leaving us begging for more; another great one. waiting for others now!

Foudre
Juey
Cin
Ice
Snigglez
Trice
Syl
........ Where the hell are you guys

torinchibi · **Joined:** Sep 2007 **Posts:** 1357 **Location:**

Since it looks like nobody else would post a story, I was hoping to get the others interested in writing the next chapter by adding in their chars to the story, but I could only fit a little bit about Ecrit and didn't have enough space to put Iceyala's char (was going to make the group meet with him at the tournament).

Nyte · **Joined:** Aug 2007 **Posts:** 226

lol great story guys .. very interesting. I ain't much of a story writing but i'm more than happy to read all the story parts posted

cin · **Posted:** Fri Jan 11, 2008 7:39 am

i might be participating this week again..
but been terribly ill this week, and have exams comin up...
but i guess i could write up 500 words or so :]

Doron · **Posted:** Fri Jan 11, 2008 9:50 am

torinchibi wrote:

Since it looks like nobody else would post a story, I was hoping to get the others interested in writing the next chapter by adding in their chars to the story, but I could only fit a little bit about Ecrit and didn't have enough space to put Iceyala's char (was going to make the group meet with him at the tournament).

I think I can actually work better with your story then with Barotix's story...

I'll sit this one out and just hope you win....
again........

torinchibi · **Joined:** Sep 2007 **Posts:** 1357 **Location:**

Icealya wrote:

torinchibi wrote:

Since it looks like nobody else would post a story, I was hoping to get the others interested in writing the next chapter by adding in their chars to the story, but I could only fit a little bit about Ecrit and didn't have enough space to put Iceyala's char (was going to make the group meet with him at the tournament).

I think I can actually work better with your story then with Barotix's story...

I'll sit this one out and just hope you win....
again........

I try to write stories which people can complete, because I really don't like writing on my own stories. It ruins the fun of thinking up links between the chapters, when you write on your own story. Which is why you would notice I force some things on to the next person that writes...*coughtournamentcough*

snigglez · **Joined:** Jul 2007 **Posts:** 211 **Location:**

ill do a story next chapter..

i just personaly dun lik reading things revised over and over =p...

nice story thou torn

if u win ill write

! xD

Barotix · **Joined:** Jul 2007 **Posts:** 9250 **Location:** Sand

I have some harsh criticism for myself, and everyone else. First i must find my Journal, and type what i wrote:
Ok to future contestants, and past contestants including myself here is a little criticism.

Criticism of Silk Road Chronicles competition:

Chapter one victory was the perfect the story fit because it was open ended. As a beginning chapter it is wise to leave it broad to stimulate several ways to pull the story, and to encourage more entries. Leaving it broad also leaves much to be asked for: Causing the story to work in a way in which there really isn't a plot until the story is more centralized, forces others to rely more heavily on their own imaginative prowess rather than what was handed to them. Imo the best stories for a chapter one were: Foudre, Juey, and Torin's stories. Although Foudre's own was centralized it forced the future writers to think of a complex back story. Juey's was also like Foudre's, but Torin's own was broad and open in such a way that a readers first reaction would be: "wth?" and not until later chapters would the initial First chapter make sense.

Chapter two's victory although warranted by the people was better off as a chapter one. Because a chapter one, which had no connection with the Original Chapter one, was placed as chapter two it skews the stories direction and makes connections harder to making; truly stressing the reader who will immediately notice a lack of flow between the chapters. Another problem with chapter two is the fact that its plot is straight forward and blatantly thrown in the readers face, E.G. no anticipation and the story system has already been set up as: Villain threatens world with monster, a great hero rise out of the turmoil and seals monster/defeats villain. Later the same villain with the same monster threatens world and again a great hero must rise to save the world. Cliche, and boring - Its been done one to many times.

Chapter three was the worst by far, when it came to rationalizing and keeping the story together. The flow between chapter two and chapter three is horrible with little mention of a tournament and with a three year jump in time. This jump is good for one thing: it leaves alot in the air allowing the next competitors to make a story of their own liking without following much of chapter threes character. For example after reading chapters one two and three, seeing no connection what so ever a good contestant in order to prevent this story from becoming linear crap, which, will end to early would make a back story during those three unexplained years. The only entry that was partially fit was snigglez, but his story seemed like more of a chapter three to his initial chapter two entry. Just like my story was more connected to chapter one and less to chapter two

If another Linear chapter follows the debacles that were chapter two and three follows, then this competition will be over in a short time. It is necessary that people think of a way to connect each of the stories each time in order to make a story worth reading.

END:
Broad, complex won chapter one: naturally a prologue or chapter one should be broad complex - preferably one thats doesn't make sense until after later chapters are read -Difficult to work with making sure only the most imaginative work on a chapter two.

Liner, simple Present Plot won chapter two: besides a meanwhile there was no connection what so ever with chapter one.

Linear, ambiguous: is similar to broad complex, but same complaint i had with chapter two: no connection with the previous chapter except for a few mentioning of roc. the flow was killed after chapter two, causing an unusual story to follow.

Snigglez, and Ice's complaint is that my story is hard to work with. That is understood it has to be hard to work with in order to only force those who are ready and willing to write a story that will have proper flow syntax and diction. This is ~780 A.D. [according to http://www.silkroadonline.net] so the Syntax flow and diction is very important, if you can't put the reader there then whats the point?

Complaint about most recent chapter four entry: Because of a botched chapter two and three, the flow is horrid. It appears like the story is rushing to an obvious climax and resolution. Also Location, Location, Location: Rhine ~~~> Hotan in a fairly short amount of time? And turning the vagabond thief to a hero in a short time by using his royal blood to make a connection. Disregarding the time gone by [three years], and avoiding internal conflict then focusing on an external conflict.

So i ask since it appears that Torin is the only one entering from his heart. Don't think to much about the title that you may or may not get, but think about how you can make your chapter so exemplary that it is the obvious choice.

Doron · **Posted:** Sun Jan 13, 2008 6:25 pm

Ok, I have got 2 comlpaints at the moment..

1:
Barotix, that text of yours is way too small written

2: i've got sore eyes from staring at a screen with small blue letters on it.

but:

I've been motivated again..

So I will try to write a story as soon as I can and post it beofre the dead line. I'll even start now imedietly.

Tnx Barotix, I needed that.

torinchibi · **Joined:** Sep 2007 **Posts:** 1357 **Location:**

I tried! *Cries in a corner*

I had no clue the kid was a thief, and quite frankly, I made no connection to any thieving that was done when Wreight was talking about his noble father, that was a king, and lost his life fighting an enemy of the people, and the kid being a devout Muslim. I just can't seem to get devout Muslim = thief and most likely murderer...unless you are saying that's what it meant at ~730A.D...
I wanted to make this a really long story with my first chapter, but Trice cut it short by pressing the issue of stopping Roc's release, then you did a 3 year time lapse with little connection to the Roc story, and I was forced into giving the reader some "here's what's going on" before they freak out. I also set up the character laying down on the floor in a shack so the next person can do a background story on them. I also never said they reached Hotan in 1 day. I said the tournament was in 1 week, and they stopped in Karakoram.

I will take the criticizm, because it's true. You cannot expect a story with perfect flow, that makes perfect sense when each chapter is written based on floating ideas from previous chapters, if even that. We don't even know each other, we can't decypher what one of us wants unless the story tells us. Yes, you had a 3 year lapse, and it would make sense that there was chapter that explains what happened during that time, but frankly, I didn't care what happened to the kid, because his character was unappealing to me. I said what happened to the warrior {which if you didn't catch that was a bunch of training after he saw his teacher die fighting LY alone), and I made sure the next character gets to tell his story since the initial Roc Legend announcement in chapter 3, so I did my part.

I am being very defensive here and I shouldn't. I won the first chapter, and it was a great chapter to build on, so it was not my fault the story turned out flowless and with an obvious conclusion...if you even decide to finish it that way. I didn't even win this chapter. So I hope this criticism helps someone make a better one, so we won't have to make a boring story.

So if you think you can do better (and by you I mean the reader, not Barotix personally) then please, write a chapter, and help me make the story better than that of Harry Potter and his quest to defeat Voldemort with a bunch of teenage magicians.

/rant
/defensiveness

PS. The new forum buttons/quotes look uglier than the old ones, but at least there are more functions.

Doron · **Posted:** Sun Jan 13, 2008 7:32 pm

The Power Party.

A young lad, from around 22, is sitting in the little pub from the small harbor town behind Hotan. While he is polishing his Spear, he looks at the reflection of the blade and sighs. The deep wound in his face wouldn’t heal, and the little money he made by helping traders didn’t do him any good. ‘The bastards,’ he thought. ‘Those dirty bastards. Traders nowadays only care about themselves, and they do that by exploiting hard working Hunters.’
He sighs again.
He wakes up from his daydream, realizing he must hurry, and get to Hotan as soon as possible. He will have to speak to the King, in order to become part of the party to hunt for Lord Yarkan, and especially, Roc. He squeezes his left hand firmly. ‘Damn…’ he thought. ‘I really shouldn’t have done that…’ he looks at his bleeding hand in which he just squeezed the blade of his Spear in.
‘Daydreaming isn’t that smart while shining your spear isn’t it?’ He heard.
He looks up to see an old man, using a beautiful sword as a stick to lean on, smiling at him with his long beard.
‘Excuse me? The young lad asked.
‘I saw what you were doing. It isn’t really smart of you to be daydreaming while shining that spear of yours.’ The old man said. ‘What’s your name, son?’
‘Bae Sha Gi’ he replied.
‘Nice to meet you Bae Sha Gi, My name is Fao Rae Mu.’ The old man said friendly. ‘Would you mind if I’d join you and treat you on some Sake?’
‘I wouldn’t mind that at all, sir.’
‘Call me Mu. I didn’t introduce myself so that you could call me sir!’ Mu said. ‘Waiter! One bottle of warm Sake please!’
‘So, tell me, Gi. Why are you shining your Spear so roughly? Are you going to join a competition or something?’
‘Well,’ Gi said, ‘I actually hoped that the king of Hotan would let me join the search and capture party for Roc and Lord Yarkan.’
‘A noble cause, for a lad of your age and qualities. I see in you a great warrior, someone who can be assured to join the parties.
*The Sake gets served.
‘Do you mean that?’ Gi asked with a lot of curiosity and interest in what the older man had to say.
‘Yes. Well, that is to say, after you would have a good practice as my Student.’ He pours in the Sake for Gi and himself.
‘A student? Of yours? I mean, I feel flattered but, I’m a well trained Spearman. I’ve got years if practice with the most strong monsters in this world!’
‘I know. And I knew you were going to say that too. And you are right. You are a skilled spearman. But Lord Yarkan is a whole other cup of tea. And what would you think about Roc? Roc is the wind himself. Roc wipes out whole armies, even the Army from Hotan is no match for Roc.’ He takes a sip of his Sake, ‘Why do you think the Kings of all cities are so worried? That Roc would destroy their cities, murder their people and then there is more where that cam from.’
‘~Silence from Gi~’
‘That is why, I’m traveling this continent to search for powerful Warriors, who can join me, get taught the fine arts of what they are playing, and together become even stronger then they will ever become.’
Still no word from Gi. He has sunk into thoughts, that he would not be good enough to beat Roc, or even Lord Yarkan. He begins to get angry with the old man. The first thing he said was:
‘First see, then I will believe you, Mu. Let’s go outside and we’ll see how good you are, and how good I am. Then we’ll see if I will travel with you on your journey to be taught by you or not, but it seems like you aren’t that strong, because if you were, there would have been some more warriors like me, and I don’t see any!’
‘That’s a deal, Gi!’
The old man grabs his sword and takes his position for a fight.
They start fighting, and the bartender yells at them: ‘If yer wuelds destroyi evan a singlez thang frum me pub, it’ll cost yer beuth!’
They both start strong, and Gi pulls everything out of the closet to not lose from this old man. The old man simply just dodges his attacks and plays them back double at him without even breaking a sweat. It’s very fascinating to see a young man doing his best to beat an old man, and the old man does practically nothing but reflecting at him.
After 5 minutes, Gi has got no energy last, and has to lean on his spear to not fall flat faced in the sand. The Mu runs toward him with his sword held high, and he stops right in front of Gi’s face and gives it a little push with his index finger. Gi falls backwards, but Mu catches him with his sword, and supports him when they walk back to the pub.

Gi’s face is all red, and Mu jokes: ‘Is that because you’re just exhausted, or from shame?’
‘Oh, do shut up!’ he hears Gi pant.

After 10 minutes Gi has his breath back, and Mu starts talking again.

‘My other student is still in Hotan, buying some supplies for our trip to Karakoram tomorrow. Are you with me or not?’
‘Yes, Master Fao. I shall be there’ Gi said.
‘Call me Mu, before I will get used to that title. Then I will see you tomorrow at Sunrise, at the Hotan west gate. Don’t be late, Ling’er and I won’t be waiting for you.

That evening Gi already walks towards the West Gate. He Stands there, and falls asleep while standing. The Night Guards just let him be, ‘He must have had a rough day,’ they thought.

torinchibi · **Joined:** Sep 2007 **Posts:** 1357 **Location:**

I like that story, and I know what you are getting at, but with yet another story with no connection to any characters from the other ones, this turns into a parallel story of a bunch of characters...which hopefully come together at some point. I can definitely work with it if it's voted as the winning story.

Barotix · **Joined:** Jul 2007 **Posts:** 9250 **Location:** Sand

Bravo, Hmm if you win I'll make sure to take my time in grouping the contestants for the tourney.

Torin's Character [whom is no where to be found] [damn once again the lack of coherence in my story rears its ugly head]. My character an emo thief [expect a fight between Ice's and Mine before friendship ensues] And then Ice's character a Hunter who has much to learn.

Criticism to come

If Torin wins I'll have to add back story to my character then introduce your character, and find out who the sleeping man is [i want to work on him; seems like a worthwhile character]. Hopefully chapter 6 will pull everything together giving the story decent flow~

i wish we could do 2,000 words >.> *hint*hint*cin*hint*hint*

torinchibi · **Joined:** Sep 2007 **Posts:** 1357 **Location:**

Barotix wrote:

Bravo, Hmm if you win I'll make sure to take my time in grouping the contestants for the tourney.

Torin's Character [whom is no where to be found] [damn once again the lack of coherence in my story rears its ugly head]. My character an emo thief [expect a fight between Ice's and Mine before friendship ensues] And then Ice's character a Hunter who has much to learn.

Criticism to come

If Torin wins I'll have to add back story to my character then introduce your character, and find out who the sleeping man is [i want to work on him; seems like a worthwhile character]. Hopefully chapter 6 will pull everything together giving the story decent flow~

i wish we could do 2,000 words >.> *hint*hint*cin*hint*hint*

If I win this round, my character contribution will be the warrior that the kid meets in my entry (Neon). It sort of sucks that I can't call people warriors in general when it's a class, but I guess I will have to use weapons to classify them instead. If I don't win... I will try to get a warrior in after we get the flow going. But seriously, I think at the end of the conflict with Yarkan (and this does not mean end of the story), we could get one of every character type in there. This is my master plan, get every character in there, then when someone new decides to write a story, they will have a choice of characters to focus on, so it should be easy to write a story when it's about your favourite type of char.

Doron · **Posted:** Mon Jan 14, 2008 6:12 am

Barotix, the sleeping man IS Gi!

Btw, my sroty is nothing less then a loose character meeting up with new characters. I think when wrote this that I had some loose characters on my mind, just waiting for eachother toe tteam up

And Ling'er... If Snigglez would've won a story till now.. I gave him a chance to write another of his own follow ups..

Btw, this story could also become chapter 5, as here is a teacher and a pupil, so Gi could have been the guy talking so good about his teacher, and Fao Mu being the teacher that has died while fighting LY one on one...

And this could be a perfect start of 'What happened in the past 3 years, biatch?'

and @ tornin:
Good plan! then you have euro's, Chi's and Mussies together, one of each type, and then they become the perfect team to slay Roc and LY..

But there still is though, though...
If you will get one of each different sort of fighter, then you will have all ready 5 from Chi, and that would make 8 for Europe. But this story won't run as good as planned if we write wrong information about the Islamic people...

So in my opinion, we are stuck at the Islamics..

What can we do to make this story flow good WITHOUT giving wrong information that just popped out in our heads? I mean, yes, Barotic wrote about a Genie turning into a set of claws, but hey!

OK.. I'm backtalking at myself again...

~DAMN~

snigglez · **Joined:** Jul 2007 **Posts:** 211 **Location:**

i like ice'story.. ill vote for him this round

Doron · **Posted:** Mon Jan 14, 2008 9:51 am

snigglez wrote:

i like ice'story.. ill vote for him this round

I thought you would.. Especially the ending where he would team up with Ling'er eh?

It would be a great oppertunity for you to get those two past stories of you on the line again!

torinchibi · **Joined:** Sep 2007 **Posts:** 1357 **Location:**

Someone that has read all the entries before might come in and say that we are all stealing ideas off of each other, but I see that a different way. We are all finally writing in the spirit of a collaborative chronicle, where we all build on each other's ideas, even if they never made it into the story before. I believe that would have happened if we had more people sticking around this long, because once we get past that whole "I want to win this chapter" deal, we really start writing for the sake of making a better story, and it ends up turning out great.

Doron · **Posted:** Mon Jan 14, 2008 5:12 pm

torinchibi wrote:

Someone that has read all the entries before might come in and say that we are all stealing ideas off of each other, but I see that a different way. We are all finally writing in the spirit of a collaborative chronicle, where we all build on each other's ideas, even if they never made it into the story before. I believe that would have happened if we had more people sticking around this long, because once we get past that whole "I want to win this chapter" deal, we really start writing for the sake of making a better story, and it ends up turning out great.

If this is why I used Ling'er in my story?

That is becaue I'd like to see both of Snigglez's stories come back.
And with Snigglez's stories belongs Ling'er. And I'd love to see that the person Snigglez' character allways yaps about (not meant as hard as it seems) comes into the story to follow the footsteps of the one who safed her, and will fight by his side to defeat Roc, LY and who the heck ever, and safe the world, to die side by side in a romantic dramatic chapter.

Awww..

torinchibi · **Joined:** Sep 2007 **Posts:** 1357 **Location:**

That chapter better be R rated, and there better be a night of hot sweaty.....ugh... I mean, yeah, that would be nice.

snigglez · **Joined:** Jul 2007 **Posts:** 211 **Location:**

hahahahah WOO ice is ftw. read my mind ;D!

from the begining i thought maybe a more romantic journey would be a better story.
even if it shifted to fighting roc.. it cud be used.. where there cud be a dramatic scene..something along the lines of ..

"... and with its last ounce of strenght, roc's feet fell upon ling'er..she screamed the last words ...
I LOVE YOU..ECRIT..!!!
50 tons fell and crushing her completely...a scream come from beyond the hill of bodies, bones and constant battle
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"...."

it be better than this but i just made it up really quickly for a example =p

but the second story i was only saying Ling'er so that would happen..

if i won the second chapter.. the story would turn out to be quite different.
where she would in some way be in a tragic death BUT a very loving journey and i would try to steer people to make stories where it seems they will live happily together.

and... noo.. just cuz its romance it doesnt mean theres gonna be some hot sweaty """

something YOU want .. not my story xP its a clean story......... maybe.. xD

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