Lifestyles of the Rich with Children

XemnasXD · **Posted:** Tue Jan 22, 2008 2:57 am

I wrote this awhile back and my friends like it so im giving it to you now? Its shorter than it looks so no tl:dr responses if you don't mind.

The Lifestlyes of The Rich With Children- Episode 1: Cleaning the Tub

i was in the bathroom cleaning the tub and this popped into my head

Characters
Phillip- A very rich man engaged to marry Catherine age 45
Chatherine- A very rich woman engaged to marry phillip age 24
David- Phillips son from a previous marriage age 14
Jeeves- The butler age 52

Episode 1 Begins Now

Phillip: Jeeves clean the tub i was out climbing mount Fuji all day everyday and now its dirty...so do something about it.
Jeeves: right away sir.
[in walks Catherine]
Catherine: No i shall clean the tub because i love you Phillip and soon i will be your wife.
[in walks david]
David: I need to use the tub.
[catherine tackles david]
Catherine: You can't David damnnit don't you see its not clean
David: of course i can't see woman...IM BLIND!!!!
DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

Catherine: i had no idea. When did this happen david?
Jeeves: Yes when david?
Mike: Yes when david?
Andrew: Tell us david?
Sherry: We just want to help you david
[in walks Phillip into the bathroom]
Phillip: What are all these people doing in here
Mike: i dunno
Sherry: Im not sure
Jeeves: haven't a clue
Andrew: It appears we all have....AMNESIA
DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!!!!!!!

Phillip: Amnesia. I am a doctor. All of you come with me...except you jeeves...you clean the tub...its filthy...FILTHY DIRTY JEEVES...tub...clean it.
[Phillip and strangers exit]
Catherine: That just leaves you and me david..Phillip can only love one of us so you have to die.
[catherine stabs david alot]
David: Why catherine why?
[david dies]
[bright glow surrounds catherine]
Catherine: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!!
Catherine: with davids power i can finally clean the tub MWAHAHAHA
[in walks david]
David: I need to use the tub
Catherine: what i thought i killed you!
David: No. You killed my evil twin. Derick. Now only 7 more evil twins remain...and one good twin....plus a slightly retarded twin but he's rarely around. He could be dead...maybe.
DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!

David: can i use the tub now?
Catherine: Never. Not until i clean it damn you. DAMN YOU!!!
[david leaves]
[catherine starts cleaning]
Catherine: I scrub and scrub but it never gets cleaner. Perhaps i need to use my secret weapon
Jeeves: Don't do it you fool are you mad?
Catherine: No i just want a clean tub.
Jeeves: thats not the way to do it Catherine let me help you.
[catherine and jeeves make out alot....a whole lot...for like 10 min]
Jeeves: I love you catherine I have always loved you.
Catherine: But jeeves we can't be together .
Jeeves: Why not my dearest..
Catherine: Because i'm your sister!
DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeeves: I knew it. I had always know deep down inside me that the first woman i kissed would be my sister.
Catherine: this is to much for me
[catherine faints]
Jeeves: now it is up to me to clean the tub!
[jeeves starts cleaning]
Jeeves: Damnnit. It won't get any cleaner. Perhaps if i had some help?
[jeeves starts making out with catherines unconscious body...alot]
[in walks david]
David: Jeeves what are you doing
Jeeves: Its not what it looks like david
David: Are you sure...?
Jeeves: Yes.
David: Are you sure your sure?
Jeeves: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!
[jeeves stabs david and absorbs his power]
[in walks phillip]
Phillip: did you just kill my son and/or one of his evil twins?
Jeeves: No.
Phillip: I thought i saw you kill him.
Jeeves: Pretty sure i didn't.
Phillip: hmm? Then what did i see?
Jeeves: Probably swamp gas...or herpies.
Phillip: Yes herpies that was it. I always get STDs and my son mixed up. All this talk of vagina diseases is making me hungry. Im gonna go get a sandwhich.
Jeeves: Im afraid i can't let you do that.
Phillip: why not?
Jeeves: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!..i mean WE'RE OUT OF BREAD!!!...i mean we're out of bread.
Phillip: I see. I'll send catherine to the store to get some. She likes getting me stuff and cooking me lobster dinners right? I thought i heard her say that one time. I couldn't quite make out what she was saying because i didn't really care. Something about fire and save my soul. But who cares. Certainly you don't want to hear stories about me and Catherine making sweet sweet love in your bed. Do you?
Jeeves: whateva
[catherine wakes up]
Phillip: Catherine i didn't notice you unconscious there with your legs open and a dumb grin on your face. When did this happen
Catherine: I don't know
Phillip: you mean during the course of my monologue you...
Catherine: Yes!!... i think i got...AMNESIA
DUN DUN DUNN!!!!!!!

END

Jstar1 · **Joined:** Mar 2007 **Posts:** 4757 **Location:**

rofl what was this for

Deadsolid · **Joined:** Dec 2007 **Posts:** 1789 **Location:**

Pretty funny, I enjoyed it.

Squirt · **Joined:** Jan 2008 **Posts:** 8186 **Location:**

Its like that episode from fresh prince of bel-air when carlton finally gets laid but th girl was married to the dean of his future college. LOL

HyorunmarouZ · **Joined:** Mar 2007 **Posts:** 1839 **Location:** Hell.

Hey that looks like TV dramas around here

Though this is funnier.

magisuns · **Posted:** Tue Jan 22, 2008 3:54 am

This reminded me of the robot chicken episode that had the * lindsay lohan vs hilary duff * version xD... this made me lul

Maxen · **Joined:** Jul 2006 **Posts:** 285 **Location:**

You should do more of these, certainly an unpredictable plot lol..

exality · **Posted:** Tue Jan 22, 2008 5:12 am

Quote:

Chatherine- age 24

24 or 42? Cuz if phillip is 45 and cathrine is 24...then ...umm.?

Anywho...very funny i enjoyed it. do more*cough* the kitchen sink looks abit dirty*cough*

Rainigul · **Joined:** Mar 2007 **Posts:** 4490 **Location:**

Lol, it was great.
You should make another

salmissra · **Joined:** Nov 2007 **Posts:** 1487 **Location:**

lol random but i can see it in a show.

exality wrote:

Quote:

Chatherine- age 24

24 or 42? Cuz if phillip is 45 and cathrine is 24...then ...umm.?

Anywho...very funny i enjoyed it. do more*cough* the kitchen sink looks abit dirty*cough*

catherine is his second wife, david is the son of his first wife.

XemnasXD · **Posted:** Tue Jan 22, 2008 2:50 pm

salmissra wrote:

lol random but i can see it in a show.

exality wrote:

Quote:

Chatherine- age 24

24 or 42? Cuz if phillip is 45 and cathrine is 24...then ...umm.?

Anywho...very funny i enjoyed it. do more*cough* the kitchen sink looks abit dirty*cough*

catherine is his second wife, david is the son of his first wife.

he's got it....

Doron · **Posted:** Tue Jan 22, 2008 3:01 pm

dude, this is some funny shit...

I'm gonna read it again toniht when I'm drunk..

Then I think I'll laugh untill I fall asleep...

Allways fun, waking up with a headache and a smile..

Best parts:
Mike, Sherry and Andrew.. xD!!!

The evil twins and the one retarded...

The DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN!!'s

Rakion · **Posted:** Tue Jan 22, 2008 3:32 pm

hahaha Nice work! i cant wait for the part 2! i like it a lot

Weeping Tear · **Posted:** Tue Jan 22, 2008 4:18 pm

Hahahaha funny...

really...

I like it!

Luoma · **Posted:** Tue Jan 22, 2008 4:48 pm

Haha so random ^^ make more!

Casey613 · **Posted:** Tue Jan 22, 2008 9:34 pm

Make.. more.. PLEASE

Barotix · **Joined:** Jul 2007 **Posts:** 9250 **Location:** Sand

Nice satire Xem, more pl0x.

XemnasXD · **Posted:** Tue Jan 22, 2008 11:08 pm

thx for all the compliments

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