Hell Explained by Chemistry Student

Shimohime · **Joined:** Feb 2006 **Posts:** 788 **Location:**

Quote:

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

One student wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and t he rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

Someone brought it in at Chem class, and it was really funny =P

Matsuko · **Joined:** Feb 2007 **Posts:** 253 **Location:**

Looks like Jesus just got PWNT! Probably the most interesting piece of work i have ever read on Chemistry in my life.

Blackchocob0 · **Joined:** Sep 2006 **Posts:** 2840 **Location:** HIV, CA

Wow...I'll say again, supporting theories can be made up for just about ANY idea or concept.

You've just got to word things right LOL.

That guy is good though...much props to him. That last line was very very Farking awesome lmao.

i play silk road · **Joined:** Dec 2006 **Posts:** 919 **Location:**

so everybody is f*cked then lol

ciddy · **Joined:** Dec 2006 **Posts:** 864 **Location:**

lol...it did deserve an A

Nuklear · **Joined:** Jun 2006 **Posts:** 3272 **Location:**

Now that is just great writing.
A+

LuV3r8o1 · **Joined:** Oct 2006 **Posts:** 1194 **Location:**

i play silk road wrote:

so everybody is f*cked then lol

No, actually, we're all saved. According to the theory, hell has frozen over, leaving the only 1 place to go - Heaven.

Well, unless you're Catholic, then you still have Purgatory to worry about.

Protestant FTW!

Sin · **Joined:** Jul 2006 **Posts:** 1113 **Location:** ---

Quote:

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

I just lol'd hard. Especially at the latter part.

Ell · **Joined:** Oct 2006 **Posts:** 3281 **Location:**

Lmao that's pretty witty.

Key-J · **Posted:** Sat Feb 24, 2007 4:09 am

Love his logic, and the way he pulled it together at the end.

Someone give him a cookie quick!

timtam · **Posted:** Sat Feb 24, 2007 4:47 am

Key-J wrote:

Love his logic, and the way he pulled it together at the end.

Someone give him a cookie quick!

Someone give him a timtam!

San · **Joined:** Dec 2006 **Posts:** 1562 **Location:**

thats like an A+++ :twisted:

PsYch008 · **Joined:** Aug 2006 **Posts:** 4451 **Location:** reno

awesome.

ElCapuccino · **Joined:** Sep 2006 **Posts:** 1122

he has proven, he doesn't have any life at all...! :shock:

lexies2 · **Posted:** Sat Feb 24, 2007 12:05 pm

Shimohime wrote:

Quote:

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

One student wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and t he rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

Someone brought it in at Chem class, and it was really funny =P

lmao

CrimsonKnight · **Joined:** Jan 2007 **Posts:** 352 **Location:**

Lolz. Very interesting.

user · **Posted:** Sun Feb 25, 2007 4:56 am

glad he got laid

Nave47 · **Posted:** Sun Feb 25, 2007 8:14 am

I loved this part.

Quote:

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

Key-J · **Posted:** Sun Feb 25, 2007 8:35 am

Im printing this out and bringing it to my chem class on monday.

Hostage · **Posted:** Sun Feb 25, 2007 8:42 am

Key-J wrote:

Im printing this out and bringing it to my chem class on monday.

lol omg plagiarize...dont blame ya i prolly would to

Key-J · **Posted:** Sun Feb 25, 2007 9:40 am

Lo, i just want to see my chem teachers face!

Gna stand up at the beggining of class, and just ask her. Do you think hell is endothermic or exothermic. She of course is going to be puzzled, and then ill tell her to read this paper.

Kekekeke

Pan_Raider(`_´) · **Joined:** Jul 2006 **Posts:** 4737 **Location:**

Old and bold

Seen this a long time ago before SRF.
Its one way science beats religion :wink:

xRecoil · **Joined:** Feb 2007 **Posts:** 347 **Location:**

lolololol thaat was funny If I was the professor Id give him 2 A's -_^

0l3n · **Posted:** Sun Feb 25, 2007 7:08 pm

I loled for 10 minutes and im still loling!

If I was his prof. id give him an A+ and 1,000$ !

Shimohime · **Joined:** Feb 2006 **Posts:** 788 **Location:**

If you brought this to your chem class, share what happened ^^

Rapture · **Joined:** Nov 2006 **Posts:** 186 **Location:**

Haha I did a quick google search: chemistry+hell and look what also came up.

Quote:

Chemistry in Hell
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student received the only "A" given.

Looks like 2 A's were given that day

ElCapuccino · **Joined:** Sep 2006 **Posts:** 1122

Rapture wrote:

Haha I did a quick google search: chemistry+hell and look what also came up.

Quote:

Chemistry in Hell
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student received the only "A" given.

Looks like 2 A's were given that day

lol, pwnd

bladecarlo · **Joined:** Oct 2006 **Posts:** 1116 **Location:**

Quote:

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

I laugh HARD

Key-J · **Posted:** Mon Feb 26, 2007 8:51 am

Lol, just got back from school, i had my friends and teachers laughing big time.

My T.O.K teacher asked if she could keep a copy

But... *sniff* my chemistry teacher had already seen it

takolin · **Joined:** Jan 2007 **Posts:** 4238 **Location:** Life

It's physics, not chemistry imo.
Or possible something inbetween.
But clearly not pure chemistry.
BTW I've seen it before.

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