Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present again!
Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!
Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)
BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping.
men are awful creatures, I know that, but 50% of those rules are for total douchebags, or men over 40+ years old.. but yeah some of them do apply at any age sadly
they're funny though.. I still don't want to meet the guy who totally agrees with all of them
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)
BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.(Though I don't like beer =/)
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping.
_________________
Day[9] wrote:
"Tea is a lot like gold expansions - it helps you kill people." - Day[9] Daily 337 -
Some of those are over the top, but eh. However, I found these to be some of the more truthful ones:
Quote:
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
_________________
Quote:
We should stop treating people like objects, or at least treat our objects with more respect.
Only if your a loser...oh wait nvm, it applies to you, keep going.
reply when you lose your virginity mkkaay
Lol, that's what I love about saying stuff to you. I dont have to say anything back, you make yourself look stupid and weak by yourself. Oh and immature, and a few other things I wont really mention atm. You always try to talk like your some hardass. Maybe one day youll grow up, and vagina isn't the most important thing to you. If your just with a girl or do something for a girl for her pussy then something is wrong, if your whipped for it then that's just sad.
Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Only if your a loser...oh wait nvm, it applies to you, keep going.
reply when you lose your virginity mkkaay
Lol, that's what I love about saying stuff to you. I dont have to say anything back, you make yourself look stupid and weak by yourself. Oh and immature, and a few other things I wont really mention atm. You always try to talk like your some hardass. Maybe one day youll grow up, and vagina isn't the most important thing to you. If your just with a girl or do something for a girl for her pussy then something is wrong, if your whipped for it then that's just sad.
It's okay bro, call me when you got your first girlfriend, i mean real one not your right hand and i see that you have some fantasy about me? cause you tell things about me while you don't even know me, well that is most stupid thing that you can do, talking about somebody that you don't even know, so keep it on topic, okay?
2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
3. Don't say you understand when you don't.
4. Girls are petty, get over it.
5. You don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like.
6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
7. If you talk about having a big dick, we know you don't.
8. Zit's happen to everyone. Yes, Mr. Perfect, even to you.
9. We don't like it when you act like Mr Big; we like it when you are Mr Big.
10.A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.
11. No matter what you say, your ex girlfriend is a pig.
12. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.
13. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.
14. Be spontaneous, dinner and a movie won't always cut it.
15. We are self-conscious by nature, we can't help it.
16. We are drama queens.
17. Fashion police do exist.
18. Don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it.
19. We absolutely do not care about monster trucks, or anything else you and your friends talk about, like: how much you know about the video games, porn, computers, Star Wars, etc.
20. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.
21. We don't shave our legs every day, get over it.
22. Don't make bets about us, we always find out.
23. Shave - no matter how cool you think it looks, we hate it.
24. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it's not.
25. Don't compare our breasts with Brittany Spear's, hers are fake.
26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.
27. We are beautiful, but make-up helps. (All girls love makeup, do not call us prissy or tell us we worry to much about the way we look for wearing it.)
28. We will always think we are fat so humor us and tell us we aren't.
29. It doesn't make you look cool to make fun of someone else.
30. If you ever beat us in a sport or game, it's always because you cheated, even if you didn't. .
Quote:
1.The female always makes the rules 2.The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification. 3.No male can possibly know all the rules. 4.If the female suspects the MALE know all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules. 5.The female is never wrong. 6.If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a result of something the male did or said wrong. 7.The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding. 8.The female may change her mind at any time. 9.The male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the female. 10.The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time. 11.The male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry or upset. 12.The female must, under no circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry and/or upset. 13.The male is expected to mind read at all times. 14.Any attempt to document the rules could result in bodily harm. 15.If the female has PMS, all the rules are null and void. 16.The female is ready when she is ready. 17.The male must be ready at all time. 18.The male who doesn't abide by the rules can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.
I call BULLSHIT to all the "rules" in this post. My general response to them...
Women's Rules wrote:
1. Don't ever lie to us, we always find out. 2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening. 6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook. 10.A system in your car only impresses your homeboys. 12. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes. 13. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize. (No, fuck you.) 16. We are drama queens. (My girlfriend's not, sorry I don't date dumb bitches) 17. Fashion police do exist. (Only whores use the term "fashion police") 19. We absolutely do not care about monster trucks, or anything else you and your friends talk about, like: how much you know about the video games, porn, computers, Star Wars, etc. (Not all women are limited to Barbie and Sephora) 20. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times. (Who's suffocating who?) 21. We don't shave our legs every day, get over it. (Yeti) 22. Don't make bets about us, we always find out. 23. Shave - no matter how cool you think it looks, we hate it. >_> 27. We are beautiful, but make-up helps. (All girls love makeup, do not call us prissy or tell us we worry to much about the way we look for wearing it.) (Ugly women do exist) 28. We will always think we are fat so humor us and tell us we aren't. (Only insecure bitches do) 29. It doesn't make you look cool to make fun of someone else. (Shit-talking others is always a good way to strengthen bonds with your significant other) 30. If you ever beat us in a sport or game, it's always because you cheated, even if you didn't. (Again, something only spoiled whores believe)
Quote:
1.The female always makes the rules 2.The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification. 3.No male can possibly know all the rules. 4.If the female suspects the MALE know all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules. 5.The female is never wrong. 6.If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a result of something the male did or said wrong. 7.The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding. 8.The female may change her mind at any time. 9.The male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the female. 10.The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time. 11.The male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry or upset. 12.The female must, under no circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry and/or upset. 13.The male is expected to mind read at all times. 14.Any attempt to document the rules could result in bodily harm. 15.If the female has PMS, all the rules are null and void. 16.The female is ready when she is ready. 17.The male must be ready at all time. 18.The male who doesn't abide by the rules can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.
tl;dr whoever believes all this is most likely self-important whore who thinks she's still in control despite her Friday night gangbang routine.
Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 1830 Location: forsaken world
asusi wrote:
Sharp324 wrote:
asusi wrote:
reply when you lose your virginity mkkaay
Lol, that's what I love about saying stuff to you. I dont have to say anything back, you make yourself look stupid and weak by yourself. Oh and immature, and a few other things I wont really mention atm. You always try to talk like your some hardass. Maybe one day youll grow up, and vagina isn't the most important thing to you. If your just with a girl or do something for a girl for her pussy then something is wrong, if your whipped for it then that's just sad.
It's okay bro, call me when you got your first girlfriend, i mean real one not your right hand and i see that you have some fantasy about me? cause you tell things about me while you don't even know me, well that is most stupid thing that you can do, talking about somebody that you don't even know, so keep it on topic, okay?
lolol. just stop assuming someone is a virgin or doesnt have a gf is as weak as yo momma jokes
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mkkaay
me want hamburgerrrrr!!!!!! 
