Does this make sense?

Crowley · **Posted:** Thu Mar 04, 2010 9:14 am

Well I'm doing my speech tomorrow. I practiced it with my brother and he pointed out that one part didn't make any sense.

Speech topic is trying to persuade you to join my club.

Well anyway here's that part. "I'm not your everyday guy, trying to persuade you to join not your everyday club"

I'm trying to get across the message that I'm abnormal (couldn't think of a better word) and I'm trying to get you to join my abnormal club. My brother thinks that I'm saying that I'm abnormal trying to get you to join my normal club.

Really need help because I'm delivering my speech tomorrow morning.

(Sorry if it's not making much sense)

DinoNuggets · **Joined:** Jan 2010 **Posts:** 1038 **Location:** Meow

from my point of view its like this: your abnormal but to you your club is normal and not to other people
idk if that makes sense

Ichimaru420 · **Joined:** Mar 2007 **Posts:** 2778 **Location:** quit

Maybe the word unique would be better suited than abnormal in this situation.
Other than than it sounded pretty good to me

Love · **Joined:** Nov 2007 **Posts:** 5336 **Location:**

it does make sense however the "not your everyday" part could be articulated differently, when communicating keeping things clear and simple goes long ways.

Toasty · **Joined:** Feb 2007 **Posts:** 2568 **Location:**

Sounds stupid. Rephrase.

woutR · **Posted:** Thu Mar 04, 2010 12:42 pm

These sentences like "I am not your everyday guy", are usually followed by a 'but'. Since there is no but, it's a bit confusing. It still works though.

DotCom · **Joined:** Jul 2006 **Posts:** 497 **Location:**

Quote:

I'm not an ordinary guy, trying to persuade you to join an ordinary club.

Thats my sugestion.

woutR · **Posted:** Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:46 pm

DotCom wrote:

Quote:

I'm not an ordinary guy, trying to persuade you to join an ordinary club.

Thats my sugestion.

bad suggestion seeing as his club is supposed to be non-ordinary.

CeLL · **Posted:** Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:52 pm

take out the second "not".

"im not your everyday guy trying to persuade you to join your everyday club."

or put the word some in place of the second "your"

"im not your everyday guy trying to persuade you to join some everyday club."

DotCom · **Joined:** Jul 2006 **Posts:** 497 **Location:**

woutR wrote:

DotCom wrote:

Quote:

I'm not an ordinary guy, trying to persuade you to join an ordinary club.

Thats my sugestion.

bad suggestion seeing as his club is supposed to be non-ordinary.

Its correct, just re-read it a couple of times.

_Scarlett_ · **Joined:** Jan 2007 **Posts:** 1567 **Location:**

Tsume wrote:

"I'm not your everyday guy, trying to persuade you to join not your everyday club"

Although your original sentence can be conceived as an abnormal guy trying to persuade an audience to join an abnormal clue, it can be structured differently to lessen some confusion:

"I'm not an everyday guy trying to persuade you to join an everyday type of club."

This can be conceived as an abnormal guy trying to persuade an audience to join an abnormal club; shown by the fact that you're NOT a normal guy trying to persuade them to join a normal, everyday type of club.

Small grammatical changes can go a long way.

Mirosuke · **Posted:** Thu Mar 04, 2010 4:27 pm

When i read that on my mind, i hear myself only "I'm not you, everyday you persuade join you club"

woutR · **Posted:** Thu Mar 04, 2010 6:00 pm

DotCom wrote:

Its correct, just re-read it a couple of times.

ah yes of course. I'm sorry, my bad.

Crowley · **Posted:** Thu Mar 04, 2010 6:44 pm

Well thanks a lot guys. Guess I'll go change that.

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